At the end of 2009, I took a trip to visit my then ex-boyfriend and his family and so the year started for me with a nice dinner in, made by the ex-boyfriend, romantic outdoor skating (a date idea we had always wanted to do but never accomplished the first time around) and my first NYE kiss! (No, I'm not 16 - I just never managed to be dating someone or be with that someone on NYE.) Our lovely NYE 2010 was followed on January 2 by us getting back together. It was a wonderful start to what would turn out to be a wonderful year.
I finished my first year of law school relatively unscathed. I found a (law-related!) summer job at at interesting place with wonderful supervisors and mentors. I enjoyed a fun summer with family and friends in my hometown.
This past fall, I started the year on a wonderful note. The boyfriend moved to be with me. I had been accepted on a competitive mooting team for my law school, and then I was elected to be on the executive of the program. I became an executive of another club, a women's association that is just absolutely wonderful.
Then came what law students call the On-Campus Interview (OCI) Process. A terrifying few months of rounds of applications and on campus interviews that culminates in a week of excitement/hell where you run around downtown Toronto in your best suit, furiously trying to convince (and be conviced) by biglaw firms that you're right for them.
My wonderful year continued when I accepted my first-choice job offer for next summer. The busy-ness continued - I decided to co-chair a big event at law school. I attempted to study for exams and write papers, despite being evacuated from my apartment due to a fire in the utilities building.
Finally it was Christmas and the year was almost over. I had been incredibly busy, more so than ever before in my life, but I had been successful.
And that's when I realized none of my clothes fit anymore.
Somewhere along the way this fall, I gained about 15 pounds. It must have occured sometime close to/after my interviews since my suits pretty much fit when I wore them last (although they won't now, I know). I know why it happened - being busy meant I was eating out a lot more for time purposes, and that I wasn't eating healthy when I was out because I was stressed out emotionally. Being successful just didn't help - I treated myself with food (and lots of wine) because I felt like I deserved it for accomplishing my goals.
But now I'm in a position where I feel incredibly uncomfortable with my body. I've never been skinny. But I've not been this big since the freshman 15. My suits probably don't fit. I had to buy new jeans. I have to be selective about which tops I wear, because most of them pull across my hips and tummy.
So what am I going to do now? Well...the new semester will likely be less busy, so I'll have time to cook at home and try to focus on eating healthier meals out. But just cutting back isn't going to take me back to a healthier weight. I've just downloaded (from itunes) the 30-Day Shred from Jillian Michaels. We're going to have to see how that works.
But most of all...I think I'm going to have to deal with some of the issues that prompt me to reward myself with delicious, fatty junk food. Being successful doesn't mean I get to treat my body badly and being busy is no excuse to grab McDonalds instead of Subway. This summer I'm going to be working long hours in a stressful job with a great salary...if I don't control this now, I am worried that the freedom to eat out all the time plus the busy schedule is going to result in way more than 15 pounds of weight gain. And that's just not how I want to live my life.